Dear Future Me,

Dear Future Me,

I just returned home hours ago from the CTK Doxa Seattle mission trip,  June 2012.  I don't know when you'll need to read this, it might be 20 years, 20 months, 20 days or 20 hours.  Knowing you, you'll need to read this many times.  Because I know that you have a mind like a spaghetti strainer and forget things really, really easy.  So I'm writing this letter to you expecting that the amazing glory of this experience will fade in your mind like an old glow stick.  I'm sharp as a pencil now, but pencils grow dull.   Let's face it Future Me, you've forgotten things that I thought you would never forget.  I'm not slamming you, just telling the truth.  And if I want to live in authentic community with others, you and I first need to be real with one another.  It might sound like I'm calling you a forgetful knucklehead, but that's mostly because I am. Future Me, these are the things that I want you to remember from the Doxa Seattle mission trip.

• When you lose your courage to speak to somebody outside of your comfort zone or be present with somebody who is hurting, remember Dana who rolled his wheel chair up to the people at the Bread of Life homeless shelter and just started talking to them.  Remember he did that also at the block party, striking up a conversation with the man who's life had been tragic and hard.  Remember that if Dana had worries about being judged, rejected or self conscious pity they did not stop him.  I know you, Future Me, you chicken out faster than a Colonel Sanders KFC order to go.  You stop extending yourself and want to hang around people who are like you.  Extend yourself dude, leave your comfort zone, rejection is a fine price to pay for the times when you can be present to somebody who can use even a small show of interest, prayer or listening.
• Future Me, please always remember Josh scrubbing the nastiest grime from the floor of the Operation Night Watch kitchen on his hands and knees.  More importantly remember him singing a worship song while doing that menial, dirty, lowly work.  You see, Future Me, you have a tendency to not want to get your hands dirty or stoop for work that you might think is "below you".  I'm not calling you proud-- oh... wait... I am calling you proud.  Future Me, remember that any work can be made meaningful when you add worship.  Remember how super thankful Medium Ben was who worked at ONW, that our simple acts of service, cleaning, sorting socks, organizing a food pantry was a huge blessing to him.  Future Me, you tend to always want to cook up grand schemes, you think big, you like to make complex strategies.  And that is good to a degree.  But don't forget the power of the small, the simple, the straightforward.  Let Josh also be a reminder of how critical a worshipful attitude can be to transforming the menial task into the meaningful task.
• I know you all too well Future Me, like the back of my hand, and you tend to feel sorry for yourself when you get the sniffles or your allergies are acting up or your back is sore. And then you use that as an excuse.  So you need to remember Helen who was such an amazing trooper on the Seattle Mission Trip.  Remember her joy, her long work hours, her faithfulness despite  health problems that would likely make you wither.   
• This is not a "Rip on Future Me" session, because I'm thankful for how God made you, but sometimes you shy away from learning new skills and trades.  So remember  students who learned how to put up siding, sheet rock, roofing, tiling, painting.   Don't forget the satisfaction and joy they got from a job well done.  Also use that as a reminder of the awesome capacity that high school students have to make an impact on a neighborhood, church, and city.  Future Me, if I even get a sniff of you discounting their ability to work like banshees I'm gonna come over there and poke you in the eye.  Knock it off.  Remember how hard they worked.  Also remember the staff of the Compass Center, Senior Center, Dispatch Center, Hammond House for abused women, Operation Sack Lunch, all of the downtown urban ministries who RAVED about how incredible the students were.  Remember, Future Me, that these students did far more as a community than you could ever have done by yourself.  They are ministers as much you.  And sometimes more.
• And while we're at it, don't forget how powerfully the students were able to minister to themselves.  Future Me, don't think that you're "all that and a bag of chips", believing that all of the ministry has to be done by you.  That's your pride that stinks worse than the boys' basement sleeping room on day 7 and the toilet that overflowed Saturday morning as we were trying to leave! Remember Taylor W.  who prayed over me, Justin and Stevie.  Remember Faith who prayed for people at the homeless shelters, who prayed for the whole mission group during family times.  Remember  Lindsey and Ainsley who you saw repeatedly caring for the people around them and giving comfort.  Remember Taryn who used her gift of encouragement and to speak positive truth into people's lives.    Don't forget Drew who led worship times that were some of the most intense and powerful encounters of God in my life.    You see, Future Me, you sometimes think that you have to have your fingers in all of the pies in order for there to be fruit.  But the most sacred, holy, impacting times on this mission trip were the times when I was on the sidelines and the students were doing the ministry.
• Future Me, when you feel intimidated by serving before groups of people remember the grace of Taylor M. who sang to the abused and battered women at the Hammond House.  Remember that God gave you gifts to use like everyday dishes, not fine china only to be used on special occasions.  Future Me, don't hide your gifts away, use them!  Sometimes you even forget that God has given you gifts.  For the same reason, also remember McKenzie who played the piano and sang "Unending Love" on the last Family night.   Remember her courage to  leave her comfort zone and be a part of the Lord working to bless. God wants to use you also, so don't put your light under a bushel.  And I also don't want to hear some smart aleck remark from you, Future Me, about not even having a bushel.  Or knowing what one is.  You know what I'm driving at, so just stop the sass.  
• Future me, you often forget that incredible ministry victories come on the heals of intense planning and hard work.  Don't forget the hundreds of hours that Dibo and Christine put into this mission trip to make it hugely successful.  In case you think that you'll just snap your fingers and have a mind-blowing experience like Ballard 2012 any time you want, remember their focus, dedication, long range planning, agonizing, debate, discussion, check lists, countless emails, phone calls, meetings.  Remember that the pump of this mission trip was first primed and fueled by their blood, sweat and tears.  Also think about the incredible dedication of Paul and Gina Diaz at Ballard Church.  They have poured their lives into that church plant to love Ballard and to grow God's kingdom.  Future Me, I know you'd rather win a ministry lottery and see God's kingdom grow more by luck than work, it betrays a lazy streak in you.  But serving the King of Kings is very difficult and a long, long road.  Remember that as I was driving home from Seattle to Bellingham how I said to myself over and over, "This was worth it! All of the hard work was worth it!!"  Remember.
• Future me, sometimes you forget how powerfully the Lord can work to change somebody's heart and life.  Don't forget John and Tamara.
• I don't want you to forget the sacrificial service of Elyssa.  Remember how she served in the midst of very difficult circumstances, truly throwing in the the "widow's mite".  Future Me, let me be frank, because you often like to give only when it is easy or doesn't truly cost you much. Remember.
• Future Me, remember that if there are times when you can't make a huge commitment, that being faithful in a smaller commitment can be powerful too.  Remember Leigha, Gordon, Shannon, Chelsea, Tori, Ryan B., Ian, Ethan, Chris, Elyssa, Nate, Sarah, and John, who came for different parts of the trip.  Remember how thankful I felt for their pulling on the oars with us, for fresh legs.  Future Me, you may need to be fresh legs to somebody else, so don't forget that value.  Don't forget the super helpful planning and preparation that Hannah did leading up to the trip.
• Remember the leadership of Ryan H, that as a student he made huge efforts to not just be along for the ride, but to take initiative for building community and being on mission.  Remember his dedication to finishing a job and doing the job well.  Because, let's face it Future Me, you like to start projects but you're not the best at finishing.  Not even second best.  You're not even on the podium.  Remember how Ryan begged to be able to complete the bathroom tiling in the parsonage, how he trained other people to help him finish, how he focused until the job was done.  When you're tempted to do something half-way, or leave it for "tomorrow" to complete, just remember.
• Remember Sam and Jeremiah who I never heard complain, who served faithfully, who gave us an awesome display of true brotherly love and care for one another.  Future Me, don't forget how huge they were on this trip.
• When there is a job that's very unpleasant, I want you to remember Tapi.  Remember when he cleaned out the apartment of the deceased resident at the Operation Night Watch senior center? Remember?  In so many ways that project was difficult, but Tapi did that job and blessed the staff at the center.  Future me, you sometimes want to leave the difficult jobs for other people.  But you're missing out on golden opportunities to serve. Sometimes the worst jobs have the biggest impact.
• Future Me, think of Aly and Anna and remember the power of friendship.  Friendships don't happen with a snap of the finger, but with time invested.  Remember also Sam and Lavonte, that despite some bumps in the road their friendship endured. If you want good friends, Future Me,  then be a good friend.
• Future Me, remember the dedication of Stevie and Justin, they finished their seasons in CTK Student Life amazingly well.  They could have had short-timer's syndrome, cruised to the end, checked out early, but instead they gave an enormous effort and push right until the finish line.  When you get senioritis, remember these two guys.  They ran strong and finished strong.
• Remember the dedication of Heather and Nathan and other students who walked up to a group of kids playing soccer to invite them to the Block Party.  Remember their initial hesitation that they overcame with their desire to serve.  
• Remember the picture of Kai praying for the homeless man at the shelter.  Remember how huge your son's heart is.  Future Me, remember the pride that I had when Kai completed the tool shed roof.   Sometimes you underestimate him.  Sometimes your little frustrations about him not picking up his room or cleaning up his dishes overtake what an amazing kid he really is.  Don't forget.
• Remember Vicki and Brandi, their awesome dedication behind the scenes cooking for us.  Remember their humble and joyful service.  Don't forget the power of working together as a full team with all of members being vital and successful, not just the people up front.
• Future Me, when you waiver or doubt that youth ministry is important work and valued by students, remember the family time where we did leader appreciation.  Remember how the entire room of students shot their hands up all at once when asked if anybody wanted to say how Nikki had impacted their lives.  The. Whole. Room.    Remember when students begged and pleaded to be able to speak about Nikki's influence and blessing.  Remember Monique and Rosie's song to the Wonderful Christine too!  Remember Monique's tears when thinking about the impact of youth ministry in her life.  
• Spencer needs to be remembered for his mentoring and coaching, his huge heart and passion for worship, and his connection with students.  Remember how he jumped in feet first to Doxa, full immersion.  Because from time to time, Future Me, you'll want to just dip your little toe in, and don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.  I know you.
• Future me, also remember the really  fun times that we had on this trip: Gas Works park, bonfire at Golden Palace beach, dub step dance room, signing the floors down stairs, ripping out the walls, "Hello Seattle" dance at the end of the block party, telling stupid puns, Beluga!,  coffee at Vivace's.
• Don't forget all of the other students and leaders I forgot and didn't mention in this letter.   (I know, I'm ragging on you for being forgetful, but I'm beyond tired and exhausted right now.) Just go back to the Facebook Page for the Seattle Mission Trip to remember them and pray for them.  Here's the link in case you've forgotten where to find it.  
• Don't forget the importance of a daily, vital relationship with Jesus, of community, of living on mission.  
• Future me, you also tend to forget the importance of prayer and the  awesome sovereign grace of God that exceeds all that we ask or think.  Don't forget the students whose eternal lives were changed on this trip by Jesus, the rain that held off for the block party, the divine appointments, the amazing worship times when the Holy Spirit showed up in power and just flattened everybody and literally blessed the snot out of us.  All of this is for Jesus, for his glory, in his name.  Do. Not. Forget.

Future Me, I know that there is going to be a time where youth ministry is going to seem too difficult, too frustrating, too fruitless, too much work, too much stress, too much drama.  But I'm writing this letter to now just to tell you to remember that it is all worth it.  Being in Christ, in community and on mission is worth it.  Do not forget Seattle Missions 2012.  Don't forget to bring Ballard to Bellingham.

Warm regards,

Present Me, Satisfied and Filled Up Me, Thankful Me, Grateful Me, Blown Away Me, Awe Struck Me, In Love with Jesus Me,  Brian Steele.